My Purpose of Living

I am sure everyone has moments like these where each of us wonders why we are put on this earth? I feel that especially these couple of months as I am preparing for my graduating recital. I had a lot of time to be by myself where I just face the piano all day, which caused me to think about my life and my worth at the same time. Sometimes I really do wonder why I spent so many years of my life on 88 black-and-white keys? What's the point of it in the end?
Unlike many wonderful musicians I know, who love performing and going to competitions and auditions and music camps, I am just not that excited about them. I observed myself from time to time and I noticed that whenever I go into a bookstore, I run straight to the art section where I would pick out an interior design book or a photoshop magazine to read and I never go to see what music section has to offer.
When I was in high school, many people said to me they don't know what they want to study in college, but they envied me because I seemed like I already know---piano. But the truth of the fact is, I am just like everyone else out there who has no clue about a lot of things in life.
It feels good to admit it, even admit to myself that I am clueless, because I don't need all these expectations from others or from myself to make me into something I am not. I would feel so lost and miserable. But instead, to admit that I don't know is my first step toward discovering myself and my purpose of living. It's like an alcoholic who admits in front of the AA group that he/she has an addiction toward alcohol. My addiction was to seek approval and live a life of unreal expectations.
I see my graduation from BU this May an end to my old life and a beginning to a new one, where I would have a different attitude toward life and toward myself. I want to be absolutely honest with myself as to what I want to dedicate the rest of my life into doing and what I don't want to see myself turning into. My ideas are vague, because I can't think by myself, even if I spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week just thinking in my own little brain. I need God's help, because He is BIG, He's my creator Who knows my life purpose better than I do. Without Him, I would probably just come up with another silly purpose for myself where I will reach a dead end eventually. I don't know how to explain it, but basically, I just have to put my trust in Him, because He will guide me forward.
May God's name be glorified!