2009 IS NEAR

I wish 2008 would last longer. I have never been sicker in such a long time. I came down with a flu/cold few days ago. Since then, my mood has been blue and my energy has been low. I didn't do much, or for that matter, talk much. I felt tired and worn out. There are many things that I am concerned about. Mainly my instability in life.

Recently we're talking about moving back to the West coast after my BU program is finished in May of 09. Moving back, the word "back" is what bothers me. We're not going "back" to anywhere we're familiar with, just another "new" place that we have to get use to and new people we need to get to know.

Moving is a great thing, because we don't really like Boston all that much, but I just don't know where to go to next. It's hard when Tim and I are from two different countries, even though Vancouver and San Jose are in the same timezone and are along the same coast, but which side of parents are we to move nearer to? How near and/or how far?

I know that in the end God will show us the way just as He had shown us the way to Boston when I was applying for grad school. Now it's time for a new chapter in our lives, and I feel anxious and uncertain. I don't want 2008 to end yet, I am not ready to face new obstacles ahead.

But maybe, maybe we should, because then ultimately, we'll have to settle down somewhere and start a family of our own. Maybe I shouldn't be so afraid of changes, because sometimes changes are good. I know by coming to Boston for 2 years, both of us have grown tremendously from little, naive college kids to semi-responsible adults. Hopefully the next move will get us to really become mature and confident individuals.

I am scared of many things, but doesn't mean that I can avoid them, like my graduation recital, my job hunt after graduation, moving...to having babies in the future. These things will come one at a time, and what I need to do is to trust God, because I don't do it enough, far far from enough.

I like what Dr. Phil said in one episode. He said just because you think you can avoid certain things in life by not making any choices, actually you've made the choice of not choosing, so the choice has been made FOR you in that case.

I hope that I will still be brave enough to choose what's been prepared ahead of me. Help me to not be afraid God! After all, I still have you and I still have Tim and both sides of our parents who constantly loved us.

Our pre-Christmas trip to Washington DC was a good reminder that even when we're in a brand new city where we know no one, we could still enjoy each others company and have a great time together.

Merry Christmas to All!!!

Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas! Happy holidays!
Laughter and Cheers everywhere!

Done Done Done!

I love to say the word "done" three times in a roll when I have actually accomplished something. Certainly right now I can say that, because I am really done with my semester. "Done done done" sounds like I am singing, but the meaning is also very self-explanatory to those who know me and know what I am going through in life.
This semester, I learned a lot more about piano that I would never imagine myself learning. I played comfortably in the piano jury, and my teacher told me that I did very well, which is extremely rare considering the fact that he's pretty strict and critical during usual semesters. Yay!!! I am so happy about it. Next semester will be my graduation recital, I can't wait to finish strong.

This weekend I was able to relax and enjoy spending time with friends. Here is a tea party that I attended on Saturday. I had so much fun!!!

Update

I haven't updated this blog for quite a while. New semester has started, and many things are on my mind. This is my last year in the master's program, perhaps the last year of my career as a full-time student. I don't know how to feel. The modern school system has shaped people into institutionalized, follow-the-rules, non-creative creatures. I wonder what I am going to do when I finish school, what job will I work get, what life-after-school will be like. That's my question this year and it scares me. It almost made me want to continue school and just never have to deal with the transition, but I don't think it is a responsible choice of being an adult. I need to grow up and mature and start earning my income to support my family.

Sunrise Animation

I made this for my Digital Media class this summer! ^_~

Happiness

Anticipation

This is dedicated to my good friend Josh, who I think might be in Sydney... 

Anticipation

One thing I realized today while doing laundry is that anticipation is what brings the joy into life.  It's the "hype" that gets us all excited and creates the "want" in us.  So, what I'm saying is that sometimes, it's better to not have something.  I mean, think about this.  I have a 13 inch tv bought from a garage sale for 10 bucks US Dollar (which is worth sh*t).  So, Dali and I always wants to buy a new LCD flat screen TV, probably about 26-37 inches, depending on price and deals.  So, every time I go to a shopping mall, I love to look at TV.  I would tell Dali, "Hey look at this", and she'll say, "no, look at THIS."  And that's our joy, our anticipation for a TV that we'll probably won't have for our while, and that is a GOOD thing.  Because we anticipate it, we look forward to getting it, and it brings us joy and happiness looking at it together.   

I am jobless, and let's imagine my favorite company calling me up for a interview, wouldn't that make me excited, wouldn't that make me the craziest Chinaman that Dali has ever seen?  Wouldn't that make me do all the necessary preparation I can to get the job I want?  And let's say in the interview, things go perfectly, I get the job, with a high salary, and when I get home, wouldn't I have the greatest temptation in the world to brag?  Wouldn't I be filled with great joy because I'll be "anticipating" my new job?  

I would be anticipating what my "new" life will look like, and dreaming and imagining of what my future will look like, and I'll have joy, excitement, happiness, and etc and etc...  

Then I'll work 9-5, maybe longer, and days go by, then weeks go by, soon years go by, then what?  

How is it that so many people don't like their job in this world?  

What changed?    

Anticipation, the anticipation is gone. 

I honestly don't think having what we want is really what we want.  I think we're suppose to anticipate, to hope, to dream, and to look forward to things that will happen.  Because, that's the moment.  That's the moment of greatest joy.  The moment when things hasn't happen yet, when it's still new and fresh, and when we wait to get it.

2 Corinthians 4:18, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Live each day, each hour, each moment, anticipating.  Hope, dream, imagine the greater things to come.  

Life in Boston

Boston. So, here's my perspective of our lives in Boston so far. I got to say that it's been hard adjusting to Boston. Not so much the weather or anything, but just to settle into a new place, starting a new life, and especially looking for a job. We've been lucky and blessed to find a good church, and we're slowly setting into it and meeting new people. It's true what people say about serving, because it feels a lot different than just going to the service and listening. But the serving still takes time to adjust for me, since I haven't really serve in church ever since I graduated from high school.
Marriage life has been really rewarding. It was a little rough last year, but since, it's been getting a lot smoother and better. I realized what a jerk I am all the time, and I can't imagine what I would do if I didn't have Dali to "hang in" there with me. I feel like an emotional wreck sometimes, and as always, the person closes to me gets all my crap. But God is supremely gracious and good to allow such a wonderful patient person to love me when I deserve it the least. I love you, Dali.
Growth. Definitely true. I guess no one ever stops growing in life, and the whole purpose of life is really just to grow. Although I feel the growing process is very difficult at times, and frustrating because it's beyond my control to change, but time has it's way of changing the worst of people. Growth is a very interesting process. I might have all the knowledge in the world of what I should do, and how I should be discipline, and responsible, but somehow the knowledge just isn't enough to change me. I don't know how to change, and worst of all, the deadly patterns continues to repeat itself time and time again. But growth did happen, and is happening, but the process is just "slow". In a fast pace world, it does make me feel like I falling further and further behind.
Finally, a reflection of what God has done. God gave me a college degree, a wonderful wife, and beautiful place called home in Boston, a church filled with great people, and He has really put all the frustrating and disappointing immigration process in it's right path. He's provided us with great parents, free money to spend and live on (where in the world does that happen?), a worry-free life (although there are many self-inflicted worries), and basically more than we ever need materially. He's provided us with everything.
One thing though, He has withheld a job from me at the moment. It's partly my fault, for being so on and off with the searching process, but let's just say I haven't gotten any luck with it yet. But I also feel it's one of those moments again. It's like when Dali and I first got marry, and the immigration process hasn't come in, but we decided to go ahead and drive across to border anyways, and then the whole frustrating process with the lawyer's assistant, and then just waiting. Months and months has gone by, and uncertainties everywhere everyday. But in the midst of it, we lack nothing. I feel it's the same with my search of job. It's frustration, no response, lots of waiting, and a month has gone by, and still waiting. But in the midst of it, again, we lack nothing.
So, today is February 25, 2008. A Monday, a start of the week. I woke up really late, because I stayed up to finish the Lord of the Rings: Two Towers on PS2 last night. Not a really good start to the week by any standards. But I have never started off good in anything. And if I have, the middle is always a mess. But God has a way of finishing what I left undone, and hopefully, there'll be more to come.

Celeb faces

Boston Winter

Boston is a beautiful city, especially when it snows. When I first came, I was greatly impressed with the architectures of the city and the high fashion of the people here. I would always gaze toward the downtown area where I could see skyscrapers and redbrick buildings, and somehow those things would make me breath deeper and slower. Since I came here for half a year now, I slowly got used to the buildings, and they don't seem as impressive to me anymore because I've been in a few of these buildings, and they're beat up inside, trust me, they're really really old. However, the natural beauty of Boston began to capture me. I love seeing snow on the streets, on the tree branches, in the fields, in the lakes. I love breathing in the cleanest air I've ever breathed in, especially coming from Los Angeles where the air pollution is the worst in the country. I love watching birds stand on top of a frozen lake, and not making up these stuff, but Tim and I actually saw a turkey walking on a street and a swan resting in a parking lot. These things captivates me, and slowly I am getting used to here, after so many months. School will end one day, work can relocate, but Boston is always going to be a part of my memory, a part of who I am.
Now that Tim and I watch movies, we would get excited if the movies are taking places in Boston, or the actors grew up in Boston before they became famous. We would take pride in the fact that we're also from Boston.

教會

我爸爸的教會是一個很小的教會。裡面的人也都很純樸。有的人覺得我們的會友很老年化，很 ghetto。但是他們實在是很親切，又很熱情。他們的笑容是沒有詭詐的，他們的談話是沒有紛爭的，他們來教會就是來作教會的一分子，為教會的事出力。我越來越喜歡爸爸的這個小教會。因為在 San Jose 這樣高科技的城市要找到如此樸實的一群人已經是絕無僅有了。