I worked in downtown crossing in Boston now, and daily I see homeless people holding their cups on the street. My instinct tells me to avoid eye contact and look away so I do not engage in a conversation or feel the urge to take money out of my wallet. Yes, it's selfish and heartless, but I justified it as a norm. Recently, I begin to notice the same reaction from the beggars, and often times they do not say a word to me. As they stand in the cold, they fear the rejection of the people the see daily, and holding the cup is the perhaps the last thing they want to do. In a city where people mind their own business, I have been consume with the idea that my life is about me. About my own community and fellowship, and ignoring is ok. In today's church devotion, it reminded me that these are the people Christ came and die for, and they are my brothers and sisters awaitin for he same redemption and healing. The least I can do is give a smile, but yet the self protection instinct does not even allow room in my heart to give that. It's a shame I call myself a Christian, because the selfish me cannot love.
I'm wearing a nice Hugo Boss suit sipping away at my Starbucks typing this, as I wait for my interview with Citi group in 20 mins. The joke is really on me, as I feel so empty. I live in a world full of success and wealth, and that strive has become the norm. Selfishness is the norm. And I do nothing to contribute to the whole purpose of my existence. Jesus did not come to be CEO, and I live claiming his grace and love, while turning away daily from opportunities to love and touch lives, to validate the existence of hurting individuals, brother and sisters, people whom Jesus loved so dearly that he came as one of them, to die and redeem.
Create in me a pure heart O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Forgive me once more.
