Recent Thoughts

Fall is here. Yesterday morning (Labor Day), Tim and I woke up to the fresh, crisp, chilly air sipping in through our cracked open bedroom windows. A whole summer of almost nothing but 90 Fahrenheit and above was pretty memorable, not entirely in a good way.

We spent the day playing Mario Brothers on Wii, going for walks, meeting up with some friends as well as sharing meals with each other. I enjoy our simple days in Boston. As much as it not being our favorite city, we have spent 3 good years here already.

It is the city where we began our lives as husband and wife.
It was the place where we lost our first child; his/her resting place, provided by the hospital where the research was done after its death, is in St. Joseph Cemetery, on the same street where we are living.

Very often, we pass by the green lawn area at the entrance of the cemetery on our way to different places, we would call, "baby..." out loud. We feel extremely comforted and at the same time grateful for the hospital for their act of humaneness. Tim once said to me that even though we couldn't afford to buy a house in Boston, at least we have a tiny plot of land that has part of us in it.

Many people think that if the next pregnancy succeeds, than this child will be in replacement of the first one that was lost; and that our lost would cancel with our gain. That's not true at all if you have experience miscarriage yourself. It's not to say that I am still living in the shadow and unwilling to get out. No, by the grace and power of God, He has healed my heart and sealed my wounds. However, avoiding talking or thinking about the tragedies that happened in our lives is not the best thing to do. It only creates a hidden wound that will rot and ache silently, and it will never get the chance to seal up. As a result, one will find other things to fill that open wound: entertainment, noise, tasks, responsibilities... but ultimately, misery will arise, and one will feel more and more empty because after a long while, one will not remember why all this busyness, and why all this emptiness.

Through this tragedy, and by the love of God. I've learned to embrace it, and make it a part of me and who I am as of today.

Right after my miscarriage, I called my best friend from California. It was 3 AM for her and 7AM for me. That morning was the day after the bad news. Tim had gone to work in total despair and I was extremely alone and scared. My best friend wept with me on the phone. Occasionally, I would wail on top of my lunges, and she stayed patiently on the other side of the phone weeping softly.

That phone call was the starting point of my healing.

After that, my mom flew in from California, my friends came to see me and bring me food and flowers, people wrote emails and made calls to show their sympathy, church ladies prayed for me during Bible study meetings.

All this love and support prevented me from shutting myself out. I was open to conversations in regards to this specific topic. I was willing to share my experience with others, especially those who were going through the same thing. I was free to admit that at times I felt sad and disappointed, and this feeling was reoccurring and there was no way I could control it. I was also honest to admit that sometimes I felt jealous about other mothers and their cute babies.

I am simply a human being.

Even though this event was not the highlight of our three years here in Boston, but it is definitely one of the most memorable and important one ever. Who knows, it might just be the highlight of our time here in God's eyes. Because of it, Tim and I learned the preciousness of life; God is the giver and creator of life, not us. We learned to love each other even more than before, our love has deepened from sharing joy and happiness to going through the valley of shadow of death. We learned to treasure each other and the partnership which God bestowed on us with the seal of our marriage. We learned to trust God more after realizing how fragile and powerless we really are. We thought was could control our own lives, but we really can't control anything, even the falling of our hairs from our heads.

I want to share this with my blog readers because I know that none of us have a perfect and trouble-free life. I want to encourage you to embrace the life experiences that make up who you are, whether they be good or bad. Don't be afraid to open up, you'll be surprised how many people share your pain and understand what you're going through. Mostly importantly, don't fill your life with busyness and noise just to block out the pain that's there hidden underneath your throbbing heart.
If you feel alone and scared, call out to Jesus. He can save your life and your soul.

Through the whole last year and this year, I ask one thing from Jesus, "Have mercy on me, oh Lord!"

"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

Tim's Peking Duck

On Friday, Tim brought home a duck from Chinatown. The whole day Saturday he worked on it according to a recipe he found online. It turned out to be a success. But I must say, the whole process took many hours. We also went all over town to find the proper tools and cookwares for the duck. Haha, it was fun. When the duck was being roasted, the whole house smelled so good. After we finished all the duck meat, Tim used the leftover bones to make a duck broth. So yummy. My husband is turning out to be quite a chef. ^^

My Suprise of the Day

Tim is a sweet husband, that's all. ^^ 

Green Mountain, Vermont

Saturday came around, Tim and I woke up super early for some strange reason, and we headed over to IHOP for breakfast. After three hours of doing nothing in particular, the time was only 10 AM. I suggested to Tim that we should do something. And our last minute decision was to Green Mountains, Vermont out of total randomness. So off we went.

It was the last weekend of summer. There weren't many tourists anymore. The whole mountain was very quiet and serene. We just drove through the mountains and stopped whenever we wanted. No plans, purely trying to enjoy nature.

We came to this small State Park (forgot the name), and as soon as we went inside, we were utterly and completely taken over by the void of noises. No humans were there except the two of us. Not a single noise was heard besides chirping from the birds. At that moment, I realized why we need to retreat from daily life. Because these moments of silence bring us back to what our first love is or should be —— God, and not the world.

We filled our world with noises. AC, fridge, computer, TV, mp3, traffic... We tuned out to these noises, but they still exist everywhere. But being in the mountains was different. The real silence and tranquility was finally found.

We didn't talk much until we came to a little town. We didn't want to disturb the crazy silence. It was crazy indeed, I wasn't used to it. It made me want to fall asleep but at the same time it made me want to take a deep breath and be wide awake to enjoy every moment of this calmness.

Out trip was refreshing, energizing and peaceful. And that's how we roll.

Back from LA

I took a three day trip to LA for a wedding shoot in Temecula, CA. The shoot lasted from 12 noon until 10:30 at night. I couldn't sleep the night before in the hotel plus the fact that I started my trip that morning around 3 am Pacific time. Boy was I exhausted by the end of the day. Luckily I got lots of help and care from some dear friends who were in the wedding. Praise God for them!

On the day heading for home, I shot a short engagement session in Irvine, CA before rushing to the airport. I took a red-eye and was in the middle seat on the plane. Though I tried to sleep most of the flight, I did manage to make conversations with a mother-daughter duo sitting on both sides of me. Turns out that the Caucasian mother adopted the Chinese daughter from Shanghai when she was six weeks old. Now the girl is already a senior in high school, and the purpose of their trip is to visit some universities in Boston since the mother is a BU alumni herself.

I was really touched by their story knowing that the only-child policy in China has caused many infant girls' deaths or abandonment. http://www.allgirlsallowed.org/

At the same time, I felt extremely blessed to be born into a Chinese family that fears God and loves life. Sadly, I don't have any siblings because of the only-child policy, and my children-to-come will not have uncles or aunts from my side.

Anyways, I had a great trip overall seeing good friends in LA. Pictures to come: dalingphotography, in a few days. ^_~

Weekend at Plymouth

It was a hot day, so so hot. In fact, the heat wave is hitting Massachusetts for a whole week now. Summer is definitely here, and I want to remember how this feels like before the harsh 6-months-long winter hits again.

We went to see the replica of the Mayflower ship that sailed from England in the 1600's. It was smaller than I have imagined, but it was probably humongous for the people back then.

Anyways, just a picture of us. ^_^ Happy July!

Tim @ Lover's Point

Tim and I went back to California for a week at the end of May and beginning of June. Together with my family and my cousin's family, we went to Lover's Point, Monterey during Memorial Day this year. Tim took over the camera and got some really awesome shots.

Don't you agree?

This one is my all-time favorite.

Puccini

Currently listening to Puccini's La Bohème.

Tornado Warning

I just came back from California. Tim and I shot a wedding in Coalinga, CA last weekend. For pictures, please check out my photo blog at {www.dalingphotography.com}. We also got to stay with my parents for a week in San Jose. I got to see Tabby my little niece. It was so much fun.

When we came back, the weather was weird: wet, cold, windy, cloudy... We stayed indoors all weekend because of a tornado warning. It was totally different from the California sunshine that we got a few days ago.

But thank God that we're safe. That's all that matters.

多活我两岁

多活了两岁，多学了两年的人生功课，多见了两年的人，多看了两年的事物。。。难怪多了两年的知识，多了两年的学问呐。。。

此人是谁？他就是我的老公。最近我们的生活里多了一些烦杂事，我和他处理的方法有异。我们感性地争论，也理性地讨论。。。但是最终当事情解决后，我才诚恳地认为还是他的处理方法比较好。

他说是因为他多犯了两年的错才学来的。也许吧！俗话说，吃一堑，长一智。
汉典的解释：

【拼音】chī yī qiàn，zhǎng yī zhì

【zdic.net 漢 典 网】

【解释】堑：壕沟，比喻困难、挫折。受 一次挫折，增长一分见识。

【出处】明·王阳明《与薛尚谦书》：“经一蹶者长一智，今日之失，未必不为后日之得。”

【近义词】失败乃成功之母、上当学乖

【反义词】重蹈覆辙

【语法】复句式；作主语、谓语、分句；用于总结经验教训

神设定的婚姻就是这样吧。夫妻互相学习，彼此检讨。在摩擦中成长，在合一中幸福。世上比这种关系更亲密的也只有和神的关系了吧。