I can't believe 2009 is here already. I just had to say that over and over again for myself to be convinced.
Today I went to Barns and Nobles and bought a yearly calendar. It was on 50% sale. I guess calendars just lost a lot of value now that 2009 really came.
So what was I going to say about it...I realized...I am not getting any younger. I am still young considerably...but not that young. I felt like I am slowly realizing that and am starting to compromise many dreams and goals in life because of it. For example, I used to want to go to Stanford, and I used to want to be a famous pianist. In reality, I am in Boston University, and I am studying piano performance, but I am not going to be famous and I am not going to Stanford after BU. BU wasn't my first choice, but what can you do when the schools you really want to go to didn't accept you?
I used to think that I can do anything, but now that I am more in tuned with reality, I know that I am not going to be able to do everything. Compromises need to take place and sacrifices need to be made, for people I love and for my own limitations as a human being, aging, depreciating, and slowly dying away without knowing.
When my facial fine lines become deep wrinkles, when I need more makeup to cover more imperfections of myself, maybe I'll have another moment of self-realization like this, but in larger scale. Who knows when...
